seminar slut
Listen to this song while you read.
I’m sitting in one of my small classes, listening to my peers spew bullshit. I’m completely tuned out and in my own head. But I’m smiling to myself. Not only that, but I’m feeling a wet spot develop on the fabric of my underwear.
Want to know why? Well, I was thinking about the two guys who both happened to be wearing the exact same hipster-esque, mustard-coloured sweater that day.
It’s also just a coincidence that I happened to have sucked both of their cocks.
No actually, it was just a coincidence. But this last year I’ve had the pleasure of reliving my sexual experiences with both of them for three hours every week.
The first is one young man we’ll call Andrew Kenny (of The Wooden Birds and American Analog Set). My best friend set us up on a blind date a year and a half ago. We grew up in the same city so we had lots of solid hometown and EDM-based conversation. He would have no idea who Andrew Kenny actually is, but I’m not going to surreptitiously reward him by pseudo-naming his likeness after any electro artist.
We spent more time together in the following week. He kissed me over a pitcher of beer when we went out for karaoke night. I wanted to bed him then but ended up getting sick due to fucking tequila. He proved himself a considerate fellow by taking care of my too-drunk self (that was also the last night I ever drank fucking tequila). After another night where we and some mutual friends got stoned and watched The Sound of Music, I was itching for sex.
Finally, a night where he comes over to mine, we got super baked in the backyard and listened to some jams. I forget who made the first move, but whenever I can’t remember I just assume it was me. He’s an intriguingly quiet type. I remember being confused by his kissing style…not much tongue, then random thrusts of it, then none again. I kept on playing with him and as he fiddled with my clasp, I removed my shirt to expose my hardening nipples. He eagerly inhaled them while I leaned my head back into the pillow and my vision softened. One, then the other, feeling me up, then down.
I unzipped his jeans and revealed his above average length but oddly thin cock. I’ve reconstructed it quite clearly since every week I would imagine it beneath the beige table.
Turn to page what? Just me, my mouth, and his penis. Lick, swirl, suck, running liquid tongue, all in, slight gag, past the reflex, momentum building, circling around the shaft, flick the tip, breathing heavy, trail downward, wet the balls, swirl them gently, hand pumping, he’s about to come, okay fine.
Andrew did not go down on me. I don’t think he expected it to even go that far. But I removed my pants to be more explicit. He struggled to find my clit since it’s not centred but eventually turned me on enough with his rough, large hands and brown-haired, philosophically blazed, often clad in tie dye look (except not right then since he was, well, naked). He started fielding moans out of me, which gave him some fuel. I grabbed a condom. Again, sort of surprised. Why yes, good sir, I do put out. It was odd that I hadn’t already after five dates.
My messed up memory recounts me fucking him so hard that the futon mattress slid further and further off the frame with each thrust. By the time I requested him to take me, the mattress was half on the ground and we had to stop to pull it back up. I’m not sure why he ignited me like that. He honestly seemed a bit shocked afterward. I learned later that his history was mostly composed of long-term relationships so this intense hook up was an anomaly. I guess my build up process is a lot quicker than most.
Soon after exams hit and we both lost touch. I basically just didn’t care enough to try once I had gotten the getting laid out of my system. Come the next school year though, with him in this class, I was chatty and nice to him. He was unresponsive. Which devolved throughout the year into him pretending I didn’t exist for absolutely no reason. Let’s just put it this way, I do a lot of things but I don’t do awkward.
However, despite my inner protesting, Andrew’s childish tension made me awkward. Which is why imagining his flopping cock amidst the professor’s rantings made me feel better. And envisioning my lips sucking off his erection made it all sweeter.
Contrast that to Dougy Mandagi (The Temper Trap). Also philosophically cute, tall Asian guy with square thick frame black glasses and a knack for photography. We met over two years ago in the dorms by coincidence and became chill friends who met up for coffee every couple of months to catch up about life. We never had class together until then, during which my attraction for him increased.
One October evening he came over to my apartment where we consumed my deliciously crafted weed brownies (double fudge with peanut butter and white chocolate chips). We talked about the summer, got progressively more stoned, and sauntered over to a pub to enjoy some brewskies. On the walk home we were both pretty trashed. Not world is spinning trashed…but more like the oh, I live closer than you do and I’m going to tempt you to come over by promising nachos-kind of trashed. He complied.
I went to retrieve the beeping microwaved cheese in my dark kitchen when his voice echoed, “Hey, would you mind if I took off my clothes? It just sounds so nice right now.”
“You can do whatever you want, I’m going to eat these nachos though.”
Yeah, I actually said that.
I brought the plate over to a mostly naked Dougy. While I consumed, he asks me to take off my clothes too so that he feels less lonely. I pulled off my top and grabbed another chip.
Then his thin lips planted kisses on my arm, pulling me in for the taste of salt and beer and saliva. We dived into each other with sloppy fervor. I pulled him along to the bedroom, tugging away his boxers as we stumbled. Everything went…okay. Dougy’s dick was similar to Andrew’s, above average length, thin in girth. But he kept asking me if I liked it.
Tip: the answer is always yes, but the more times you ask, the less I like you.
Drunk cock sucking tends to go decently well for me, I just have to hyper concentrate. Which sometimes results in a headache later…but I can never really tell if that’s just the rest of the hangover. I tongued his shaft while he gripped my clit with his untrimmed nails. It was that kind of pleasure pain that becomes straight up painful later. While it was happening though I consciously thought that I wanted to make sure he enjoyed every bit of this experience, mainly because I wanted the positive association and memory every time my mouth moved during class.
The sex was not memorable enough to describe here. But the aftershock was. I had just started to pass out when he shot straight up in bed and said, “Oh shit, I have a girlfriend.”
Great! So I was unknowingly, without any fault of my own, the “other woman.” I can handle that. But he couldn’t. He almost broke down right there. Apparently it was serious. He loved her. They’d been together for a long time. Hmm, funny he’d never ever mentioned her in the years of us hanging out. Dougy was also Christian, which only added to his guilt. I gave him a hug as I escorted him upstairs. As we got to the top, he told me he thought it would be best if we just pretended this never happened. I said that was fine with me.
And it totally was. Dougy was super mature about it. He didn’t avoid me or pretend I was invisible like Andrew did. Andrew and I had simply petered out on neutral terms but he frustrated me to no end with his absurd behaviour. Dougy said hi to me, chatted with me, and was super calm about everything. Besides getting turned on in class every week without anyone knowing, I was also super calm…until the kicker of a realization came in December.
You know that really cute but really quiet girl who always sits right next to that guy you fucked? Well, chances are she’s the long-term girlfriend he loves who he cheated on with you.
At that point in time all I could do was laugh. And work to avert the weird guilt I felt whenever she rarely spoke in class despite logically understanding that there was nothing I should feel bad about. I’m still laughing about it, especially now that this chapter of my life is finally over.
Andrew? Present. Dougy? Present. Dougy’s girlfriend? Present.
Seminar slut?
Present and back in action.
Want more yummy stories? Of course you do.
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